Monday, 

Fine grey day spent at work. After what seemed like ages, I met jessie. Decision- impluse.
It was a super last minute, late night affair. Nevertheless, it felt like the older times.
I have realized that my temper has grown outrageously disgusting and i needed someone
who has known me all along to bring me back to earth and indeed though really short,
i managed to get a worthwhile dinner over at her place. Thanks aunty for the food, so yummy mummy.

Tuesday,

It's thee off day and the best thing that happened to me was the morning message from the boy.
Nothing could have hurt me deeper than the harsh words. I know many are hoping i'd move on.
but what no one sees is what I see.. the true him. If only the issues were below the surface and 
the ship could sail smooth... guess every relationships has its obstacles and mine has you.

Headed to pasir ris, down town east with Latashy,Nusu and two of their friends. Had an awesome time.
One of the two friends they brought along looked and behaved liek dheep.. but guess dheep's so much more better looking!
MWHAAAAA. god's playing basket ball in my life once more. 

Happy birthday little brother. 
You're not so little anymore. 
Im glad you're changing for the better.
I love you.

Wednesday,

Worked like a mad pig. It's getting tiring and the new management and I are so not getting along.
It's pretencious people. If only they could be any nicer.. Anyhow. After work slacked at boatquay. 
It's thee best thing to do! Thanks Raji for the dinner and for winding up with me. Appreciated.

Thrusday,

Worked like a cute pig, haaaa. After work we had a feast. Lots and lots and lots of food and cans for alcohol/beer.
We all drank. Drinking is thee other easy way out when it comes to letting things off your mind. It really worked for me.
It just got me high, and thats about it. I latter biked down to woodlands with Sattish uncle and met up with sarveshbaby.
It was kavitha's birthday and i was quite out of my mind. At least, i felt i was loose. Thanks babygirl for ... the big hug!

Friday,

Worked as usual. Fought with one. and life just goes on.Its day number four and things havent changed one bit. Boy, i miss you.
These sleepless nights without hearing your voice. damn it sucks. I cant sleep. I bet evreyone would have guessed that from my very latenight bulletins. 

After work slacked at boatquay. Im in love with timbre!!!! the live music there simply rock!!
anyway this is to you,

thank you for everything boy.
You've bee the bestest thing in my entire life.



thats aout it readers. I realized its been so long and thus the super long post.

Dearest ,

Ugh! I'm just so so irritated. I've got completely nothing to do and today i took the effort to wake up early hoping to find something productive to do but no, im wrong. My tuition students are annoying me because they either wouldnt pay, wouldnt pay properly or wouldnt pick up my calls.
They've been canceling tuition lately and today im here sitting with nothing to do and im supposed to have tuition but they wouldnt pick up.Now that's a big worry for me because ive to pay up for school fees at the end of the month. god, give me a job . dammit.

Yesterday was yet another boring very boring day. So i dropped arvin a message. The last time I met him was 25dec2007.All the other time he calls me up for a catch up I'd be busy with something or nothing at all. I took my own sweet time and he came to pick me up and we headed to westcoast-ayerrajah food court to have dinner. Yummmyyyum! We slacked around at westcoast and later rode down to queenswayshopping centre to get some stuffs. And then we headed home! I love bike rides. I miss bike rides with Max. (esp long rides from school to home!) I miss bike rides with faizal too (the few time he fetched me after school and we head out) I miss bike rides with anneh (from home to school!) and then, here there is Arvin who used to pick me up after tutorings on his super high scrambler. HIGHHHHHHH, and i mean it s HIGH. he's like what over 183cm tall and his scramber is just like him. ugh!

I guess its true. In life we'd all continue to make many many new friends and meet many new people of which some of them will become important essentials in our lifes and some would be really special to us. But the truth is, there will still be the handful of them who'd be there and they're the ones you met during your teenages years in secondary school. I've got my 'fives' plus pratheep who's forever there and topping this all with them, there is mokan and arvin too . Secondary school huns! Im so glad ive got great friends (:

Dearest,

Why do I miss calling you, baby? Why is it like this, now that i have decided I should let go and move on with life because I can't stand the pain to look at you being in a mess and everything for the past 13months been because of me. . . now that ive made the decision to painfully walk away, slowly perhaps I just can't.Why am I so afraid? What's there to lose? I dont know. I just can't. I cant do this.
ugh.

So max brought me to watch Definitely Maybe. Actually, he didnt bring me, he surprised me. It was completely unexpected. i didnt even have my jacket with me. But there was an ugly silence. We didnt talk at all and the first thing he said was " Can you just keep quiet and leave me alone for awhile" *rolls my eyes* ugh! It was horrible. Thanks for caring to keep me warm in the theatre though. So the movie was good. I'm glad I watched funny games the other day with Naren the sailorboy- who was leaving for Auzzie.Because that was a stupid movie and I was really keeping definitely,maybe aside so that I could watch it with Max and yep, he made it come true. But wait a minute, its just hours to his birthday, not mine so why these surprises?  And then we went to Ichiban. Even that caught me off guard because I didnt expect I'd get my chocolate float and favourite sushi with my favourite person. But even then, it was silence. We hardly said a word. HARDLY. Eventually, after my goodbye hug, i walked away with my eyes welled up. Why this ugly silence? Why would someone surprise me to put a smile on my face but not talk to me.
He claims it was, moodyness. ugh-whatever. It was just a beautiful day out with my favourite person who woldnt talk to me. And i hope the cruise plans with him with turn out perfectly perfect tomorrow because, its soon going to be goodbyes.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY :D
im sorry to call you baby, 
because you're not mine anymore
but eventhen, you're still my hotfudgechocolatebabyboy!
(X
happy 22nd. it's going to be great spending your birhtday with you for the second time.
and we officially would turn 13months today.

PS. . . 

Dearest,
 
It's been raining heavily. Since a kid, I've always loved the rain. There is just something about the rain that makes me happy. I don't carry the umbrella and I love taking strolls in the downpour/drizzle. And when i want it to rain, it usually does but when it doesn't I sit under my shower with my clothes on and just pretend it's the rain. Mad? No. When I want something badly, i'd do almost anything to convince myself it is the second best. (ie. rain is the best, second best is the shower) The last time i got wet in the rain was today after a stroll but the last time i had so much of fun in the rain was at Tekka when me and my group of girlfriends were walking to town from bugis (tekka was midway) and it poured!
We were drenched head to toe but we were laughing unlike the rest who were running for shelter. I just dont understand, why people can't appreciate the rain? It's only a bad thing when you have outdoor-underthesun activities. .  otherwise, it's beautiful.

There's so much about the rain that relates to my life in various ways. The smell of rain, the way i behave when it rains. The ever widen-ed smile on my face when it rains. Even in class, i'd go ''YAY ITS RAINING!" and everyone else would give me a stupid look. I'd never forget the way Danny had to run after me and hold an umbrella for me because i wanted to get wet (eventually, i was still drenched) I'd never forget the way, Lavan gets reminded of me when its raining and would call me to check if im free for a walk in the rain. I'd never forget the way I have a handful of girlfriends who will walk in the rain with me and I'd never forget Max, who loves doing the things i love to do. Jacket,music and rain (:

Is this entry pointless, i hope not. I really have got nothing else to LJ about. Besides, im jobless! But maybe i might get the starhub job. Maybe, id be able to study a parttime deg course. And maybe i'd receive a miracle someday. Til then, for now, im going to take a babynap and meet MAX tonight (: